Michigan Trip DIY Blitz

Part of my recent trip to Michigan to spend time with my parents resulted in a mini-blitz of small projects around their home. I absolutely loved the opportunity to help my folks and work on the house I grew up in. This isn't much of a step-by-step, how-to post, since I didn't shoot nearly enough pictures, but you might pick up some nuggets along the way.

As an old cottage, the home is a Frankenstein blend of decades and decades of expansions, renovations, and repairs done well before my parents bought the place in the mid 1970's. Like my own home, it's still full of surprises.

It was a challenge to use someone else's tools. I enjoyed the game of figuring out what to use from my Dad's collection, and where he stored it. He had everything I needed and if I asked, he' d send me to the right location, but I really enjoyed poking around in his workshop and using different tools than I am accustomed to. It was fun.

This particular species surfaced just after the extinction of the dinosaurs. (Craftsman-icus Seven-point two volt-us)

I started the blitz with a florescent, four-tube light in the kitchen. My brother had already been by and replaced the lamps, but it still wasn't working. It turned out ballast needed to be replaced.

The wiring conditions were scary.Through the small metal mounting strip for a globe style fixture poked the hot and neutral wires, with no insulation.

The original wiring was so old that the insulation had simply disintegrated, leaving those two wires within a quarter inch of each other. In electrical terms, I call that "not good."

"Not good"

After my Dad and I grabbed a new ballast and a few supplies he didn't have in stock at the home center, I pulled the whole fixture down to clean up the wiring. I trimmed it back a little and wrapped the remaining insulation with electrical tape to prevent further decline before adding brand-new wire to extend it safely into the fixture.

Oh yeah, remember friends, before you play with electricity, be sure to visit...

AZ DIY Guy's Scary Warning: Electrical Edition

Rather than unnecessarily work overhead, I replaced the ballast while the fixture was still on the ground. Yes, my folks do cook on that stove. I'd learned to fry potatoes and make omelettes on that ancient, gas powered beast as a teen.

The old Detroit Jewel

I zapped the fixture back up onto the ceiling with fresh toggle bolts and wired it in again.

Next, I replaced the broken hanger wire on a mirror / coat rack that my little nephew had pulled down. He'd yanked on an apron a couple nights earlier and narrowly missed being cracked on the head. Luckily the mirror didn't break.

That was a super easy fix. Hung and done.

The light switches in the basement stairwell were next. My mom wanted them replaced with fresh white switches.

Unfortunately, the local handyman had cut the opening too big to mount the switches properly. The ears wouldn't reach the edge of the drywall for support.

I used these neat little outlet spacers. They slip behind the mounting yoke of a plug or switch so they can be supported properly against the box.

You just cut off what you need and fold them, accordion style, snapping them together like Legos. They slip right around the 6/32 mounting screw.

Decent wiring here at least.

With the switches in and working, I moved down the stairwell to replace a dark brown receptacle, halfway down. It was old school, with no grounding prong. If there was no grounding wire in the box, I'd have to install a GFCI to be legal. You cannot simply install a standard three prong outlet where there's nothing to attache that third prong to. 

It was the same messed up wiring I'd found in the kitchen. It was a mess. The conductors were entering from opposite sides of the box and they were seriously worn out. There was no grounding wire either. I think it's old knob and tube wiring. 

Rather than replacing the receptacle I removed it. I cleaned up the wiring, taped it up good with fresh wire nuts and sealed the box with a single-gang blank cover. With an outlet at the top and the bottom of the stairs, there's no point in having on halfway, plus an extension cord from there is just a trip hazard.

Continuing down to the basement, I worked on a wall where the paint keeps peeling off. Apparently there had been some sort of water softener discharge issue years ago that had leeched salty water against the outside wall and eventually caused the paint to peel. Subsequent paintings were unsuccessful.  

I took a wire brush to it and cleaned off everything I could, tasting saltiness in the dust, There was a slight sparkle in the block and grout, probably salt, not a good sign for success.

The wall had been sealed / primed at some point. It didn't stick though. Rather than repeat the same thing, we decided to experiment with a flexible rubber coating. I've seen similar stuff on TV turn a screen door into a watertight boat, surely it would stick to this salty wall,.. right?

I put the stuff on initially in a thin coat and let it dry. After that, I blasted it on fairly thick. It ran a little bit, but nothing too noticeable for a basement wall,

Arrr,... take that ye' salty wall.

                           - AZ Pirate Guy

The fumes were staggering in that enclosed space, so I had to open up some windows and set up a box fan to exhaust that foulness outside. I closed the upstairs doors to keep the nastiness away from my Dad's lungs.  

It looked great!

The next morning, it was already peeling slightly. This one is a fail.

The last big project was a falling run of duct work, in the basement ceiling. I think the run had been stretched out a bit, back when they'd had the kitchen remodeled about  20 years ago. It finally started to drop in recent years.

My brother Jim and I pushed it back together and wired it up again. We wrapped the loose joints with foil faced tape and ran a few new screws into place. 

On one end it was actually hanging from a wire twisted around a drain pipe. We lifted it up with a fresh new piece of hanger wire, screwed into the framing. 

The ole drain-pipe hanging trick eh?

It was fun working alongside Jim and his legendary sideburns again.

There were plenty of other little things that got tackled before the trip was over. A tripped breaker that knocked out a kitchen receptacle got reset, the water softener was reloaded with salt, and the snow blower was put away, just a handful of little things 3,000 miles of continental United States normally prevents me from helping my parents with. 

Jim and I ran into town to pick up some supplies for one last project...

Tube-steak heaven.

That's right, honest to God, authentic, Detroit-style coney dogs. 

Chili. 

     Mustard.

          Onions. 

               Period. 

That's how it's done.

A Visit Home and the Old Stump

I took a quick trip back to Michigan recently. I left Sweetie and the kids behind in Arizona and crashed on my parent's couch for a week.

This is where I grew up, an spectacular place to be a kid. Plenty of adventures were had at this peninsula house, surrounded by a lake. This was the  location for the neighborhood kid's countless hours of army battles, Star Wars adventures, fort construction, swimming, fishing, and boating.

The trip really wasn't a vacation thing. It was a trip to hang out with my Dad and give him a boost of support, since he's just been wholloped with a serious health challenge. It's cancer, some serious shit too.

The old man is a tough dude; he's going to fight this with gusto and humor. His attitude remains absolutely incredible, even as the battle saps at his strength. We had a really good time together, talking, joking, eating, and zipping around town in his sporty convertible. We hadn't spent this much time together, just the two of us, since I left Michigan nearly 17 years ago. Since he's slowing down a bit and focusing on his health, I got a chance to bring some DIY skills to bear and help my folks with a mini-blitz of home repair projects while I was there.

The house is an old cottage with with God knows how many additions over the years. My folks have been working on it for about 40 years. I remember "helping" my dad on his projects, from munchkin age, well into my teen years. I'd mowed this lawn for hours and raked tons and tons of leaves here, as well as getting my first taste of home renovation by my Dad's side.

I still have a vivid memory of my dad working on the lower deck. He'd managed to catch a horrible case of body-wide poison ivy. The Doc had given him a healthy dose steroids to fight it. I recall looking out and seeing him with two, extra long 2 x 6's on his shoulder, literally sprinting past the window. He was so amped up on steroids that I swear I remember him building that deck in an hour, with no nail-gun. I don't even think he used a hammer;  just punched the nails into place with his raw 'roid power. 

The deck facing the "beach" It's a beautiful piece of land the old house sits on, with beautiful water, reflecting the trees on all three sides. 

It was absolutely teaming with wildlife, bugs, fish, birds, muskrats, frogs, and this little sweetheart:

Muskrats, ice storms, and strong winds have done their worst to the beautiful trees over the years. Although the loss of a tree is sad, at least it opens more views of the lake. Unfortunately, it leaves ugly stumps like this one, smack-dab in the middle of the front yard, a cedar lost in the winter. 

A fun little project to help out with, eh? You know I don't saw up trees back in Phoenix, just the occasional giant sugurao cactus.

My brother Jim took the day off and joined me, with his trusty, red handled, macho-man ax from home. I found a matching pair of sweet, wee electric chainsaws and a mismatched pair of gloves in the basement (The Indiana Jones, Fortune and Glory T-shirt was all mine, 'cause that's how I roll when I'm choppin' wood).

Top men for a serious job.

We decided to lop it down to size with the chainsaws first. We thought, maybe we could cut it down, just below ground level, perhaps drill some big holes in what was left, and let it rot away. 

We topped both of the lil' saws up with oil to keep the chains in good order and got to work.

We took turns with the diminutive chain saws. There was no point in overheating their motors when we had two on hand. Just like with unlicensed nuclear accelerators, we carefully kept our distance from each other,.. 

... because crossing them would be bad.

Dr. Peter Venkman:I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Dr. Egon Spengler:Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

 Dr Ray Stantz:Total protonic reversal.

Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip.

                                      - Dr. Peter Venkman

After a while, we decided the chainsaws just weren't cutting the mustard (or the stump). Jim brought his mighty ax into the fray. 

We switched our focus to the roots. This whole tree had tipped over at one time after all. Surely there wasn't a beefy tap root to contend with. We'd chop all the surrounding tendrils and hopefully rip this entire monstrosity from the ground. 

Chopping like a warrior poet.

We took turns swinging that ax, cleaving root after root and prying   Needless to say. It wore us the hell out.

Yes. I'm wearing steel toe work boots

No, he's not wearing steel toe work boots.

Expletives deleted.

In the end, we ripped that tenacious beast from the grasping clutches of the moist, root-filled earth and wrestled it into the wheelbarrow.  The initial victory was very sweet, but the following three days of aching muscles, dulled the feeling.

My dad came out to join us for the victory lap as we wheeled the beast to its final resting place in the woods. 

I simply must get a dual-wheeled barrow like this. 

Good riddance, Beast. 

I'll share more of the DIY blitz projects Jim and I fiddled with at the old homestead soon. 

I'll close by sharing the ride that replaced my truck for the week. It's been a long time since I drove a small car or a stick shift. Heck, I don't think I'd ever driven a convertible before. It sure was fun sprinting about town with my old man, our hair blowing in the wind as I slalomed round Michigan's never-ending minefield of bottomless pot-holes.

Join us next time for the thrilling conclusion of the Michigan DIY blitz! There will be a much better view of Jim's legendary sideburns. Promise.

UPDATE: Here it is:

Michigan Trip DIY Blitz

Pool Project Update: Analysis Paralysis and The Big Draining

To sum up the state of our pool remodel in one word:

Aaaghhhh!

After three contractor quotes, with three different approaches and much study and comparison, I'm suffering a positively ferocious case of

analysis paralysis

. For one reason or another, I'm not comfortable pulling the trigger with any of them. I'm stuck spinning in circles.

For the most part, the defining issue for our preference in contractors is the pool deck. The three solutions we got were completely different from one another:

1. Tear off the surface stone, mechanically grind the concrete / grout residue down and re-coat it with an acrylic "cool deck" type deck coating.
2. Tear off the surface stone and install nice, concrete paver bricks. 
3. Demolish the deck completely, form and pour new concrete, and coat it with an acrylic "cool deck" type coating.

Other than the complete demo, there were positively going to be some ugly unknowns lurking beneath that God-awful stone surface. After my hammer-drill / grinder assault, at least we know

it's possible to remove it

without destroying the deck below.

But, there's is also a drainage issue, where water pools against the house. We'd like to fix that. Surprisingly, all three solutions were in the same price range, so naturally, we're leaning towards the complete demo and re-do.

It's gotta go.

Interior renovation proposals are virtually identical in scope, while the pricing is only

somewhat 

close. I had to build a spreadsheet to compare it, because the quotes came in so varied in layout, inclusions, and item-by-item price.

I even compared Better Business Bureau ratings and Registrar of Contractors, along with Yelp and Ripoff Report too. I felt good about all three of the guys that came to do the estimate,

despite the fact that all three of them missed their appointment time and arrived significantly late. 

The Official Analysis Paralysis Spreadsheet

The Official Analysis Paralysis Spreadsheet

Considerations

The problem with our favorite proposal (the one with the demo and new deck), was a huge demolition charge for the pool interior that the others didn't have. The others included demo in their price. Each line item varied in cost between the three, but this one charge took the price about $1400 higher than the others, not chump change. They  appear to be a very new company, but have little or no complaints. (Highest Cost)

Our second favorite guy, the tear off, grind down, and re-coat guy had good ideas and I liked him, but his contract was spooky scary; it was not consumer friendly at all. He also had the most complaints on the ratings sites. They were nearly all marked resolved, but I got the impression he wielded his contract like a hammer. He also volunteered a lot of negative views about  other contractors. I really want to use him, but my radar is going off. (Lowest Cost)

The third guy's pricing was in the middle, he seemed trustworthy, but he was the one with the pavers. We're just not loving that idea. (Middle Cost)

How can we spend enough to buy a nice used car when we're not comfortable with the plan? So we're stuck.

Well, not entirely.

One of the contractors had a good idea. Why was I paying to run the pool equipment when we were not using the pool. Why not drain it? We're not using it. So what if the plaster cracks in the heat, we're tearing it out anyway.

So we drain. I turned off the equipment for a week before the big drain, so naturally, the pool returned to it's favorite state of 

full Dagobah mode

again, a delightful swampy-green.

I rented up a pump and hose from my local Ace Hardware store for 24 hours. They had an incredible amount of stuff crammed in that rental room. I'm going to go back and check it out when I have more time.

These pumps are a piece of cake to use. You hook up a hose, plug it in, and

ker-plunk.

It turns on and starts flowing as soon as it submerges and an attached float switch engages. 

Depth Charges Away.

Rather than draining into the street or sewer clean-out, which probably would have sent this water on a path to some treatment station somewhere foreign and far away, like Texas, I gave it back to our local environment,

really local,

 the back yard. It was also cheaper to rent just 50' of hose rather than the 250' I would have needed to make it out front.

That little pump quietly gulped from the pool and spat a steady stream of water out. I wasn't worried about chemicals or salt water because the content was so low. The trees and weeds should love it.

The birds sure did.

"Saaaay,... I wouldn't mind a quick drink and a little bath"

- Mr. Bird

A swampy pool doesn't interest anyone around here, it has no pull against the siren song of toys and video games. But start flooding the yard, all manner of creatures emerge.

Yep, there's nothing like the novelty of a deep algae-covered cement hole in the ground to lure them from their cave.

Catching some rays out by the pool

These kids are definitely taking baths tonight. Definitely. 

Sitting Down on the Job

After several hours, it was done. We are now the proud owners of an ugly cement pit. 

There is absolutely no doubt, this pit needs to be resurfaced. The surface is so rough and pitted that it's no wonder the ongoing fight with black algae was futile. It had sunk it's roots in too deep.

So what do do with a big empty pool on a beautiful weekend?

"CANNON!,..ummmm.... ball ?"

We're not skate boarders around here, but we had some other good ideas. If you follow on Facebook, you might have seen some of this, but the night time Colosseum of Battle Ball  is probably the best. 

Enjoy:

---

UPDATE: After this experience with hiring a contractor, I was invited to return to the Thumb and Hammer Home Improvement Podcast. Check it out here: 012: The AZ DIY Guy returns to discuss contracts, contractors and pool repair

---

There's Always a Bigger Hammer - The Paving Stone Demolition Experiment

'm trying to remove the cemented-in mystery stone from our pool deck. The same stuff is on our patio, so if I'm successful, I may go after that area too. Why would I do that? Cause it's ugly, bad stuff.

You can read about this delightful stone in my last post about our upcoming swimming pool renovation if you like, or you can stay here for the hard-core, hammer-slammin' action.

To update progress on the renovation, I've had two pool contractors give renovation options and quotes for a total pool re-do / repair. The first contractor thought we could remove the mystery stone from the original deck, and cover it with brick pavers. The second promoted jack-hammering the deck down to dirt and starting from scratch, with a new acrylic coated concrete cool-deck.

We're considering both approaches, but the paver idea hinges on successfully removing the stone, and they want $2,000 to do that.

Just to remove the stone, not to buy or install the pavers. Holy crap!

 I decided to see if I could do it myself. I didn't think I had the proper tools for this operation, but a test run with what I had, could determine if it could be done at all. Of course, this job was too big for Sweetness, my trusty electrician's hammer, so I upgraded to a mini sledge and a mason's chisel. I'd used the duo years ago, to split bricks for a mailbox project. I figured they should at least get me started with the necessary destructive experiment.

Mini-Sledge and a Mason's Chisel

It was easy enough to chip the concrete off the edges of the original deck slab, but it was seriously tough going to get the stones to release. I had to chip along as much of the edge as I could, before driving the chisel under the stone. Finally, I'd give it a few solid whacks to break it free.

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"tink,..tink,.tink,..tink..crack..."

After a while, I got a small area cleared. A few stones were up, broken to bits, but there was some concrete bedding left behind. It probably wasn't the best hammer and chisel combination to be using, but it proved that the stone could be removed. It would only take a "short" 3 years of solid evening and weekend work to plink my way through all of it. 

I chose to move up a level in hammer options. Tucked in my arsenal of hand-held concussive forces is Mjölnir, my mightiest hammer option. It is truly a hammer worthy of a Norse God, and it came to my possession through a character of mythological proportions, and I can't believe it's not been featured on this blog yet. 

Mjölnir, next to a mere mortal's hammer.

Mjölnir is actually a weathered, full-size sledge hammer with its handle sawn off for one-handed use. It was given to me years ago in my brief tenure as a construction worker, by Joseph, a foul-tempered Lebanese construction electrician, with muscled, fur-covered forearms the size of gallon paint cans. He was an intense, scary dude, physically incapable of rendering a single sentence without at least four curse words. In fact, sometimes his sentences were artistically woven entirely from curse words. For some reason, he liked me and let me keep this bastardized sledge. I think he wanted to craft a larger one for his own use. I don't know why; he could slam an eight foot grounding rod all the way into the ground as fast as you or I could push a thumbtack into a bulletin board.

Just like the God of Thunder, eh?

Mjölnir does its job. It hit with a tremendous impact, driving the chisel under the stone with only a few swings. It was horribly unwieldy though. Swinging a full-size sledge with one hand is a little more intense than swinging a tack hammer. I even managed to treat myself to a ricochet shot that slammed the mighty hammer into my foot, nearly knocking me over. It didn't hurt a bit at all though. It didn't hurt because I am one tough DIY'ing action hero of a man,... who just happened to be wearing steel-toe boots.

Steel-shod toes are happy toes.

I proved it was possible to remove the stone with a chisel and hammer, even a big damn hammer, but it was slow going and tough work. It physically wore me out. I thought perhaps I needed a better chisel, so I called it a day.

I had muscle aches on top of muscle aches the next morning. I'm out of shape for sure, but swinging an overweight hand-sledge in a crouched over position for hours and hours, days and days was going to be miserable. I clearly needed a better setup.  Luckily, I'd won a Home Depot gift certificate at work and it was positively straining to free itself from my wallet. I headed over to my friendly neighborhood, big orange box store to check out the tools,... and visit Bad Dogs in the parking lot, of course.

Naturally, I came home with a new power tool. Enter a big hammer drill, featuring 2.1 foot pounds of impact, 4,500 beats per minute. That's a pinch better than I can do by a hand. This bad boy is a beefy Makita HR2621 1" Rotary Hammer, with anti-vibration technology.  A new self-sharpening SDS plus chisel bit came home with it.

An example of a well chiseled physique.

Unlike my 1/2 inch cordless hammer drill, this roto-hammer has a third setting:

1. Drill Only - spinning for standard drilling through wood, etc.
2. Hammer Drill - spinning, plus impacts, for drilling through masonry
3. Hammer Only - the chuck does not spin at all, for chipping /digging, etc.

For this adventure, it was hammer only mode, the setting my cordless hammer-drill does not have.

Stop. It's Hammer Time.

Ohhh, hell yeah. This thing rippped up the "mortar bed" (?) of concrete the stones had set in much faster than the ol' hammer, chisel, and brute force I had been using. Unfortunately, it still took forever to pop the full size stones off, but it did it with a lot less effort. My visions or ripping through like a bulldozer, sadly, did not come close to reality. It was still slow going.

I switched to a stance I've learned from every single movie and TV show I have ever seen set in the streets of New York City, "jack hammering construction worker."  I believe all aspiring, male actors in the city get their start in this role, well either that or "construction guy eating a sandwich, next to jack-hammering construction worker." 

Either way, it was fun. It did make it easy to chip a few inches from the edge, fairly quickly.Still slow going, but again, less effort than swinging an oversize hand sledge.  I even began thinking about a sandwich myself (I could totally nail that acting thing). 

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The "Construction worker with a jack-hammer" stance.

A friend at work had given me another idea to try. He'd thought that I should use a masonry blade in a circular saw to slice the top layer into pieces that would be easier to pop off. Maybe that would help. Of course, I didn't have a masonry blade on hand for the circular saw. I did, however, have a diamond blade mounted in my Cordless Cutoff Tool 

It slices! It dices! It can even cut a tomato!

I did a decent sized section, but it really chewed through my batteries in the process. I guess the cheap blade and the heavy resistance of cutting a 3/4" thick stone and concrete really put a draw on the power. I emptied all three batteries. I had one on the charger as I tried whacking again with the big sledge and chisel, thinking I could simply pop the squares I had cut out. It was a little better.

That quickly led me to try sitting on the diving board breathing hard and drinking vitamin water, which worked nicely for me, but didn't accomplish any actual work.

Success at last!

The roto-hammer, made short work of it. I finally had the winning approach. The problem was, I couldn't charge batteries in the cut off tool fast enough to keep up with the cuts I needed. I'd need also to make more cuts to get the pieces to the best size. 

In the end, it wouldn't be a problem, because fate had taken me by the hand and led me to the solution. Let me take you back in time to my the shopping trip, when I was literally standing in the checkout line of Home Depot with this:

After a few moments, the lady at the Pro Checkout called me over to her station, with no waiting in her line. As I walked over, I saw this:

Waszzat? A grinder included?

A speedy check of online reviews later and I'd added the first two Makita tools to my arsenal. At the time, I didn't know I'd want a grinder for this project. Sure, I've wanted one for a while, but "free" really closed the deal for me.

I switched the blade over from the cordless, and let this bad dog run free. With an inexhaustible supply of electricity and a much higher RPM, it tore through stone, rendering it into flying dust.

"All we are is dust in the wind,..dude."

                                                    -Bill and Ted

This was an easy tool to use, especially considering the incredible amount of work it does without much muscle power. It cut stone and concrete with almost no effort. I really like the second handle to keep it under control and prevent it from tasting human flesh. Its going to be active on lots of future projects around here. 

I cut a grid-like pattern on both sides of the diving board, taking care not to cut too deep and damage the slab below. In hind-site, I think I'd make a good dentist. This is pretty much what they do right?

I had finally, finally arrived at a good demolition solution. I'd cut the grid roughly into 6 inch squares. The roto-hammer slid right under the corners at a low angle. Within just few seconds, I could hear the sound change and the "tile" would pop up, usually in two pieces. 

It was way easier than the sledge hammer approach. Still it was hot work. I really wanted to jump in that pool.

After a quick clean-up the deck was exposed. There was still a fair amount of mortar, but it could be cleaned up later if we decide to go this route. I figure I'd chip up the high spots with the roto-hammer and then get one of those cup grinding-wheels to clean up whatever was left. It can be done.

With the final process discovered, I think I can at least get the stone up in a couple weekends. But, for now, I'm going to stop, until we decide if we are going to resurface this with pavers or a coating or if we are going to have the entire deck demolished.

That I'm not going to do. Sure, I could get my hands on an electric jack-hammer and bust it up, but I don't have the expertise to avoid damaging any underlying structure that may need to stay intact. Plus, that is a lot of material to cart to the dump. 

For now, I have this little heap. I'll smuggle a little out each week in the trash if I have to.

The Next Big Thing - Swimming Pool Renovation

Necessity has once again led us to fail in keeping to our Strategic Doctrine of Inside-Out Home Renovation. The swimming pool continues to be unusable. First world problems right?

Wrong.

Access to a swimming pool is a requirement here in the fierce desert southwest. In fact, when you get off an airplane, they check your luggage, just to make sure you have your suit with you. The Border Patrol prowls the edges of the state, making sure anyone attempting to enter without towels, inflatable float toys, squirt guns, and a pair of swim goggles is promptly sent back the other direction. God forbid you try to bring children here in the summer without intending to routinely hurl them into the cool, refreshing embrace of a sparkling, chlorinated aquatic wonder at least once a day.

Whist most of the country is emerging, bleary-eyed, from their winter hibernation homes, blinking at the sunlight like pale zombies, basking in temperatures approaching 60 degrees, we're eyeballing the pool, with temperatures already tickling the low 90's. Oh, it's time.

Here's our issue. Our basic tract home was built in the late Classic Rock era, in 1979. We believe the pool was put in at that time, with a cassette tape of Pink Floyd's The Wall blaring on the boom box as the hole was dug. Approaching 40 years later, time and idiocy have taken their toll on the ol' swimmin' hole in our back yard.

I did win the battle of Dagobah, where the pool was regularly turning into a fetid swamp of yellow and green algae; we installed a new cartridge filter, an energy efficient pump, and a high-tech salt water chlorination cell. I can keep the water clear, so that is battle is indeed won. Unfortunately, the overall war has been lost. Black algae, the supreme force of the dark-side has taken over. Despite my efforts, it has multiplied and cannot be eradicated. It's a rock-hard bastard. with its tendrils sunk deep within the porous, aged pool walls. The pool itself is starting to disintegrate and the decking is a mess. I surrender.

Black algae. The bastard of the deep. Once you have it, you have it for good.

The white plastered finish is really only supposed to last about 10 years or so. This is in such bad shape that we think it my be original, or perhaps a late 1980's application. It was bad when we bought it, and we've been here 9 years. It's no longer smooth, but pitted and chipping away.

I found that Sylvan Pools  isn't even in business anymore.

That's not all folks. The pool deck is a big problem. If we're going to fix the inside, it only makes sense to fix the deck too. As you may have noticed, some previous owner / mental giant who was my DIY predecessor around here, decided to cover the "cool deck" with a not-so-cool-deck. They cemented some sort of porous stone over the original, professionally installed deck.

Fugly. Just plain fugly.

This mystery stone, has exciting benefits:

• It looks like it shouldn't be slippery, but it is.
• Also unlike Cool-Deck, it's actually so freaking hot that you can fry an egg on it in the summertime. Of course eggs are so much more susceptible than tender, bare human feet. Conversations that take place as we approach our pool for a swim normally start like this, "Ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! (SPLASH!)" 
• It's not the stone's fault, but it's poorly installed. There are surprise trip hazards, weird uneven edges, and as an bonus feature, it slopes towards the house so water can pool there. You know how great it is for a house to have water wicking into wooden walls. This slope also offers the excitement of pooling water near the egress gate, just to ensure exiting is a slippery challenge.

My wife even slipped trying to go though the pool gate recently. She was wearing tennis shoes, but still lost her footing. She caught herself, but cut her hand on the latch.

This mystery stone is even wrapped over the edge of the pool. Just like the walking surface, it's poorly done. Like our roof, it's likely the product of weekend warrior DIY'ers like myself, but also under the effect of gallons of cheap beer.

Just a sharp enough edge to avoid bruising by splitting the skin. Handy.

I know there's some semblance of an original deck below this covering. I can see it at various points on the outside edge. It's sort of an orangey-pinkish color. 

Another item is the diving board. We use it; we love it. But, it's probably a death trap. Diving pools are rare around here, most new installs are shallow "play pools". Our pool is really too small for proper diving, even though it is ten feet at its deepest. It's fairly old. The fiberglass creaks and the base is loose and rusting.

We'll miss it, but it's best to get the liability out of our yard. The last thing we need is someone getting hurt on it. It's been almost a year, but I'm confident I can still produce a proper cannon ball, even without a diving board.

C' Ballin' like a Boss.

Like a Boss.

We really don't have the funds ready to take on this project right now, but it's only going to get more expensive as it degrades. Plus, the pool is a huge part of our summer cooling and entertainment around here. So much for a kitchen remodel this year, We're going to have to figure it out. I'm starting by bringing in the experts for ideas and price quotations. That's right, it looks like we're going to hire a pro for most of this. We've done it before. From my research, a lot of this is best done at the same time, saving tons of money in re-work and preventing possible damage to whatever was done first.

Pool Interior:

1. Get rid of the black algae for good. Is that an acid wash thing?
2. Repairing or resurfacing. There may be some sort of coating available. Perhaps it's a tear out and replacement with the same white "plaster" coating, or maybe we'll try some of the pebble finish products.
3. We're going to get information about replacing the water-line tile that's calcified, and ugly. 
4. Perhaps an auto leveling device can be added. These widgets keep the pool full when the summer is evaporating the water at an unbelievable rate.

Pool Exterior:

1. Pool Deck. It needs to be fixed so it's not so hot and slippery to walk on. It's a hazard and it's hideous looking.
2. Remove the diving board. We thought a slide would be fun, but we can't have anything visible above the fence line that will block the neighbor's view of the mountain.
3. Landscaping / entertainment features. We'd like to add some furniture, an umbrella stand, and who knows what else to beautify this stark area. We need some good lighting for evening swimming as well. 
4. Equipment Screen. We need to come up with some kind of screen to hide the mechanical equipment. Not only is it kind of an eyesore, but it needs to be protected from the sun.

A gorgeous piece of landscaping art, right?

I'm ready to dive in to this project. The patio roof is about cave-in too, so I think I'm going to be on outdoor project mode for a bit, just in time for triple digit temperatures,   too. 

I get that many of my dear readers don't have giant money sponges swimming pools, but this project should still be chock full of fun. I'm hoping to put some hand's on sweat equity into the project to get the cost down.